There´s an election coming up but don´t let any of these people influence you in any way, shape, or form.
12. Arianna Huffington
She sounds like a Gabor and primps like a Hilton. Plus, she gets bonus points for completing the right-to-left political reidentification in about 1/10th the time it took Senator Lieberman to do the reverse.
11. Dennis Miller
His political/pop-culture gibes have gotten so obtuse and nonsensical ("Mark Foley is like McQueen in Bullitt, but with Rin Tin TinÂ´s singing voice") that we have no idea whether heÂ´s a lefty, a righty, or just way overmedicated.
10. Chris Matthews
HE TALKS VERY LOUD. VERY VERY LOUD. HIS VOICE IS AN ANVIL. A LOUD ANVIL.
9. Wolf Blitzer
Perhaps he doesnÂ´t belong on this list, as he rarely takes a position on anything except lunch .But The Situation Room not only gives some of the nationÂ´s preeminent political bores a venue for their punditry, but also boasts the same narcotic effect of GHB.
8. Sean Hannity and Alan Colmes (tie)
Or is it Alan Hannity and Sean Colmes? Which one of the two is the pinko? Which is the blazer-and-tie reactionary? And does it really matter?
7. Matt Drudge
Given his influenceâhe broke the Monica Lewinsky thing and spent the next six years bragging about itâwe should probably rank him higher. But weÂ´re not sure if heÂ´s still alive. Anyone?
6. Bill Maher
Like Andy Rooney and Sinbad before him, Maher can be counted on to suck the funny and insight out of any discussion. That heÂ´s survived nearly 15 years as a TV gadabout is as much a mystery as Stonehenge.
5. Rush Limbaugh
Grandpa always said that fat, delusional, and hopped up on goofballs is no way to go through life, but Rush proves the old guy wrong in his every immigrant-baiting soliloquy. He is to syndicated talk radio what Sirhan Sirhan is to redundantly named assassins.
4. Janeane Garofalo
Future generations will look back at The Larry Sanders Show and Wet Hot American Summer and ask, "That crazy woman who shrieks about the Presidentâshe used to be funny?" It will be our duty, then, to hike those future generations onto our lap, assuming theyÂ´re of voting age, and tell them the sad tale of GarofaloÂ´s de-evolution from dry wit to humorless harpy.
3. Tucker Carlson
His decision to appear on Dancing With the Stars was surprising for a single reason: Who knew weÂ´d expanded our definition of "star" to include thick-tongued conspiracy theorists?
2. Al Franken
He used to be the go-to guy for stoner giggles. Now, he babbles as endlessly and pointlessly as an unemployable poli-sci grad student. HeÂ´s like Bill Clinton in reverse.
1. Ann Coulter
Yes, sheÂ´ll probably go away if we ignore her. But goodness, she makes it nigh impossible, whether by spewing ugly, transparently provocative statements about 9/11 widows ("they sure oughta lay off the peanut brittle") or by dressing like an extra from The Ice StormÂ´s key party. There are few people on the planet more richly deserving of being set aflame.